The day is starting off with me literally making a mental trade off between all the very necessary evils in my life. Coffee, which doesn’t really do anything for me, except for its very reassuring placebo effect and warmth and its innocuous fairly high sugar content, which I find myself returning to throughout the day. Cigarettes, with their seriously annoying feature of reducing your life by five minutes and their dastardly ability to curl up in delicate, wispy tendrils in every nook and cranny of my body, with their toe-curling levels of satisfaction. Just by thinking about it I can feel my resolve weaken and all I want to do is give in give in give in. I worry about this inclination towards completely & wantonly giving in. I worry about how these passing whims become full bodied desires, things to be single-mindedly craved and lusted after. See how I got distracted from completing my list? Lastly, Diet Coke, which has the disadvantage of the brain-retarding and cancer causing aspartame, to some degree, and the advantage of countering the sugar content of coffee and the fact that it actually makes a difference. That is, I can at least feel it in my blood.
The root of all my problems eventually boils down to whether or not I can feel it in my blood. Everything is dictated by its mindless, ceaseless whispering. My life would be a lot simpler and a lot healthier and a lot freer if my blood learned how to leave aside its relentless pursuit for deferring discontentment.
Yeah, so I got me some Diet Coke.