Thursday, June 21

Simplicity wanted.

This is one of those places where you just don't know. I'm happy with my life, happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm heartbroken at how cruel the universe is being to my animal posse. It's a weird dichotomy and I often end up not knowing how to feel.
This also feels like one of those points where you accidentally lose people, people important to you. People who don't know they're important to you. People who you intend to hold on to.
I feel like being trivial. It seems to be the easiest way to deal with how serious, cruel and unfair the world is. If I think about things like growing my hair down to my ass, the day becomes a little easier. I am growing my hair down to my ass by the way. Though I recently saw a video where I had short hair, pinned back, and was sitting in the rain with N. We were splashing our feet in this enormous puddle, singing La Bamba. My hair's pinned back and I wave while laughing at the camera and I want to look like that again. But no. I digress. Long. Down to my ass.
I feel dirty and beautiful. The smell of musk melons drives me mad. In a very good way. I am tired of music, I think. I need a break from it. I drove for hours today and I think, despite my fears, I love motion. I don't want to read anymore. I want to talk. To everyone. I feel this inhuman craving to be social and to fill my mental coffers to the brim with pointless chitchat. Of course, given the Hero I'd want no one. I'd be satiated while being bored next to him.