11:30 AM on the first day of this weekend and i'm in bed and i have lockjaw but don't qualify for emergency services. i have a sink full of dirty dishes that are depriving me of sleep. i didn't touch them last night in the hope that i could prove a point to myself that i'm not one of those women, who let dirty dishes bother them. but they do, they do, i can feel their presence almost as if something were lodged under my spine.

my brother's coming tonight and staying with me for a while :) i don't know why i thought moving would change anything. the love in ones life remains a constant, for which i am very grateful. except that i don't get to see my babies.

i turned 25. it feels like i'm on an irreversible march towards greater foolishness, larger mistakes, and hopefully significant pay offs.