Friday, November 19


Feeling quite uppity. Made quite spectacularly stupid mistakes in what should have been an easy test. Maybe my brain is slowly disintegrating, slowly becoming gurgling mulch. I try and have this equanimity, this I-don't-care-about-foolish-things-as-internal-assessment but honestly I'm a true blue nerd. I'm not used to bad grades. Bad grades are for stupid people.

Pent up nervous energy. Don't know what to do. Smiling & laughing alot. Drank half a glass of Frooti over 4 hours. Weird weird weird. Did have a lovely walk home though. You know the ones where the weather is just right, the distance perfect and where you have this smile on your face which is just making people stare at you, yeah ? That kind. Have all but given up writing longhand. Listening to Fight Club Soundtrack for the infinite time. Infinite is not a number. It's a tendency.

I want to talk to K. I used to ferret out G for she somehow always had the exact same mood as mine. It made things a lot easier. It slowed you down in the easiest way possible. In moods like this I can picture myself scraping the paint off the wall with my fingernails. (sounds sodding painful)
Fight Club soundtrack helps no one. It puts you in this edgy place where you attack people. And want knives. I don't particularly appreciate being reminded that "this is my life" which is "finishing one minute at a time". Blame me for being restless ?
Typing far too fast.

Well I'm licenced now. I can drive very very fast down roads and mess with probability. "Break-neck speed"

This is reminding me of when I was on acid. Only w/out the paranoia. Haven't heard Groove Armada in longest time ever. Muggins is seeming tinier like she's shrunk. And ma insists we're overfeeding her. Oh she's two months old and a Libran. That's the ram ? Or the scales ?
Acid green quilt in room. WARM ! Like toast. Want to go driving down NH1. Brilliant road. Brilliant speeds. Ah well.

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