Two AM is the time I coach my on how not to become increasingly dependent on the ridiculous patterns my life inevitably ends up following. I end up playing out the same story with a different set of people every ten months or so. Which brings me to the question, what on earth do I like so much about this story that I insist on returning to it, with a new starring cast every time? I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I thrive on pointless drama and contrived tensions between people and I never ever want to have the kind of placid happiness that comes from an uneventful life.
My life, she sucks.
I don't think my current lifestyle, for lack of a better word, is very conducive to getting rid of the constant trite resignation that defines my days. I am constantly in my head, planning out the moves I will very carefully make in the games I have no wish to be playing in the first place. Most importantly I would really like to start looking at people as who they really are and not characters in my gigantic farce being staged for an audience of a lone, self-obsessed, cantankerous, deluded woman.
Most of all I would like to be able to be honest to people. And not get caught up in the show.
Friday, May 2
Sunday, April 6
The one where Murphy does random memes to avoid working and comes off sounding terribly pretentious
Ten things you wish you could say to people right now
1. I miss you and have loved you practically forever.
2. I'm not ignoring you, I've cut you out of my life altogether. Peace :)
3. Jhombheej. Wijjhing by.
4. I spend way too much time thinking about you.
5. I'm sorry for how disconnected I'm becoming from your lives and needs. I know you'll never give up on me and I feel so ungrateful for growing up this way.
6. Ganfatiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
7. Salamander galamander.
8. Tell me what you think about all this potential that we've spoken of. Really.
9. What do you want?
10. I'm going to get used to not having you around. Or in my head. Freedom :)
Nine things about yourself
1. I'm way too lazy to ever amount to anything.
2. I have my priorities all wrong.
3. I'm too full of myself and too stuck up to really take chances.
4. I'm a coward.
5. I need good food, good liquor and good company to be happy. Any of the three will do.
6. I'm competitive in all the wrong ways.
7. I'm a sucker for nice hands and nice guys.
8. I re-find myself with the help of feline contempt and wagging tails.
9. I have hope.
Eight ways to win your heart
1. Have nice hands.
2. Be nice to animals.
3. Buy me Gems. Or whiskey.
4. Challenge me? (Okay. This is beginning to sound terrible. Please don't judge me on this.)
5. Don't eat meat.
6. Have broad shoulders.
7. Be Christian Bale.
8. eh.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot
1. I ought to go for walks.
2. I need to study more often.
3. I ought to clean up more.
4. Certain annoying people.
5. Holiday want :(
6. There has to be a simpler way.
7. "Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it."
Six things you regret
1. Being a coward.
2. Not spending enough time with my family.
3. Having studied Sanskrit in school.
4. Not being able to sing.
5. Not having a job where I'm required to wear saris.
6. Not having done something about it when I fucking could have. (Though I still can. Refer to point 1)
Five turn-offs
1. Being mean to animals.
2. Weak arms.
3. Bad breath.
4. Incorrect grammar.
5. Stupidity.
Four turn-ons
1. Christian Bale.
2. Broad shoulders.
3. Nice hands.
4. Scintillating conversation.
Three things you want to do before you die
1. Become an eccentric, rich old woman who preys on young men.
2. Buy farms and set up an organisation which works towards taking care of animals.
3. Learn how to grow things, find True Love and Inner Peace. (I totally cheated and snuck extra points in.)
Two emoticons that describe you
1. :)
2. :|
One confession
1. eh.
1. I miss you and have loved you practically forever.
2. I'm not ignoring you, I've cut you out of my life altogether. Peace :)
3. Jhombheej. Wijjhing by.
4. I spend way too much time thinking about you.
5. I'm sorry for how disconnected I'm becoming from your lives and needs. I know you'll never give up on me and I feel so ungrateful for growing up this way.
6. Ganfatiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
7. Salamander galamander.
8. Tell me what you think about all this potential that we've spoken of. Really.
9. What do you want?
10. I'm going to get used to not having you around. Or in my head. Freedom :)
Nine things about yourself
1. I'm way too lazy to ever amount to anything.
2. I have my priorities all wrong.
3. I'm too full of myself and too stuck up to really take chances.
4. I'm a coward.
5. I need good food, good liquor and good company to be happy. Any of the three will do.
6. I'm competitive in all the wrong ways.
7. I'm a sucker for nice hands and nice guys.
8. I re-find myself with the help of feline contempt and wagging tails.
9. I have hope.
Eight ways to win your heart
1. Have nice hands.
2. Be nice to animals.
3. Buy me Gems. Or whiskey.
4. Challenge me? (Okay. This is beginning to sound terrible. Please don't judge me on this.)
5. Don't eat meat.
6. Have broad shoulders.
7. Be Christian Bale.
8. eh.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot
1. I ought to go for walks.
2. I need to study more often.
3. I ought to clean up more.
4. Certain annoying people.
5. Holiday want :(
6. There has to be a simpler way.
7. "Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it."
Six things you regret
1. Being a coward.
2. Not spending enough time with my family.
3. Having studied Sanskrit in school.
4. Not being able to sing.
5. Not having a job where I'm required to wear saris.
6. Not having done something about it when I fucking could have. (Though I still can. Refer to point 1)
Five turn-offs
1. Being mean to animals.
2. Weak arms.
3. Bad breath.
4. Incorrect grammar.
5. Stupidity.
Four turn-ons
1. Christian Bale.
2. Broad shoulders.
3. Nice hands.
4. Scintillating conversation.
Three things you want to do before you die
1. Become an eccentric, rich old woman who preys on young men.
2. Buy farms and set up an organisation which works towards taking care of animals.
3. Learn how to grow things, find True Love and Inner Peace. (I totally cheated and snuck extra points in.)
Two emoticons that describe you
1. :)
2. :|
One confession
1. eh.
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