Tuesday, August 17

MSC Murphy

This is an all new experience for us here at Murphy Corp. We’re blogging from a switch room. Which for the benefit of the laypeople is where the telecom equipment is stored for routing calls and keeping the entire network up and running. It’s freezing cold (because a constant temperature is required), there are a lot of us sitting on the floor around these tall stacks (because there’s no furniture), and we have no shoes on (and I’m not wearing socks, so the old paws are slowly but surely becoming icicles). It looks like some sort of scene from the distant future where the machines have taken over and we’re sitting in some sort of shrine to them. I wonder what would happen if I casually started smoking in here. We’d all get chased out and probably beaten with laathis. But I’m so sick of this work that that actually sounds like a fun day. I know I said a little while back I was bored of my deskjobesque project but this is a different extreme.

In other news I’m in Jaipur for a while. Hopefully not too long, the company of imbeciles and easy work does nothing for me anymore. I’m working with a hardcore punju guy from the fantastic town of Bhatinda, who compensates for his punjuness by replacing all his ‘yaars’ with ‘bud-deee.’ Heyyy bud-deee.

I also got to hang out with the manfriend. Yay! I’d forgotten how old Wrinkles is. He too compensates for the failing memory by randomly grinning, pretending like there’s actual thoughts and cognitive processes at work in that empty ancient space, instead of bits of fluff and dodgy memories. But we must be kind, internet. We must put up with the heyyy bud-deees and the senile smiling and make the world a better place.

Man. I can feel myself becoming mediocre. I’m sitting here and I’m completely uninterested in what my team is doing and all I can think of is if I could spit in the MSC without anyone noticing. I’m very glad it’s finally come to this. Now I don’t really think I have excuses to not do anything about it. I’m going to be very impressive and disciplined and full of purpose and eat only apples.

I’ve had this thought running through my head for a while now, and even though it sounds ridiculous and insane and like a request to attract all sorts of chaos I’m going to say it. I think my life’s boring. I’m surrounded by people I have no wish to be around, I don’t get to do the things that give me pleasure, I don’t get to be around people I do really like and I don’t get to chill enough. I’m only 24.
Wow. My cool entry from the switch room wasn’t supposed to end up sounding melancholic. But like my colleague and my manfriend I too can compensate and share this insane draft I found I’d written a week back.

“God. I’m stuck in this stupid office, waiting for the blasted CFO to get back from her lunch. And all I have to do is nod a bit at her and get the hell out of here. And then I can go back to my office, skip the lunch crowd and have a completely leisurely sandwich and coffee. Did I mention I’m starving? But I refuse to eat here, in this cesspool of incompetence and despair.
I really want to buy new kurtas. About six of them. I’m getting depressed and bored at work and the only way to counter that is to be wearing new clothes. Or I could actually get off my ass and figure out what I want to do instead with my life, something that may actually make me more money, instead of spending even more.
I had a super weekend and it makes coming back even worse. Do people who write features for magazines get free stuff? Are the Marie Claire staff getting free hair and beauty products and clothes and shoes? I bet they’ve never met a washed up CFO in their life.
I’m free!”

Here’s to the little things.

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