To The Dude Who Refuses To Talk To Me

Hello.

I know there's a purpose behind your silence and that it's something you feel like you have to do. I get it. I would however like to point out that it's been almost 4 (5?) months and it's time to stop. You're one of the coolest people I know and I miss you and, really, this is not worth it. I think part of the reason why I come up with zilch nowadays when I come to this blog is because I know (hope?) you're reading this. And it feels weird to prattle on about this and that when we haven't spoken about any of it in forever. And that's a really huge change from the way things were before you started this madness. I've got so used to factoring in your opinions on most decisions (and then promptly discounting them as well :P). And this year, DWRTTM, has been really strange. In both good ways and bad ways. And I'm really pissed with you for not being around to give me bullshit advice about finding my soul. Fuck you. This is not how you behave. And I'm pretty sure I'm fucking all sorts of things up and not being true to myself and handling this mushroom cloud of confusion really poorly and, buddy, I'm going to blame ALL of it on you. So fuck you, again.

DWRTTM, I miss you. I have nothing to explain, I don't feel the need to, but I miss the general happiness and warmth and simplicity that is you. I miss having my ass handed to me and I miss being a no-holds-barred bitch. I miss talking to someone who knows me really well and can call bullshit on all the bullshit. The boring monologues about your passion and its incredibly painfully large technical history, I don't miss so much :P I'm not quite sure on the junk mail (hah! there. I called it junk mail. It is mostly forwards and links and stuff) yet, my inbox looks a lot cleaner. But I also don't get to read about animals who save lives and old people who love the Beatles as much. So that's a 50-50.

Most importantly, I'm happy. And you're missing it. Which just pisses me off so much that I don't even know what to say. I know you're going to call this entire phase 'growth' or some such hippie bullshit, but I'm going to call it stupid and petty. So fuck you, again. You don't even know Professor or Bug. You don't know anything you stupid chuth.

Hope you and the family are doing well.

Kisses.
Murphy