Monday, October 19


Internet I have two kittens sleeping in my room. When faced with a massive amount of cuteness, it sort of loses meaning. There's only so much of pink noses and pink paw-pads and chewing on one's paws and falling over the brain can process and still keep going awwww over. So yeah, done. No more.

Today was the day of good intentions that came to nothing. I've sort of got in this rut where I spend my nights completely caught up in feeling dissatisfied, poring over really ugly aspects of an associated past, being bored, being irritated, and feeling cowardly for not saying anything about things I don't like and feeling inept. I am one of those women now, the kinds who sit around waiting for things to happen. Hurray. Is this part of what I wanted, when I kept whining about wanting to be like the younger me, more open to letting things affect me? Dudes, how much do I whine? It's only to you, or so I fervently hope. Worse, I don't know how to shut it off and be productive. Tomorrow is the day of even better intentions! Maybe I'll finally quit this bitch and imma kick yo ass.

It's like waiting for your eyes to adjust to the dark. Waiting to find out if I'm going to have the courage to know what I need to do. Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage. At some point you will be able to see and you will have no choice but to realise whether or not anyone is listening to you.

'Human beings can reach such desperate solitude that they may cross a boundary beyond which words cannot serve, and at such moments there is nothing left for them but to bark'

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