Murphy <3 Internet

The internet is my friend.



























I infinitely prefer it to you assholes.

Sometimes Facebook really pisses me off

by the lovely Kate Beaton

Blogger insists on publishing these last two posts as 9th and 10th May, despite correct settings. It doesn't matter but it's annoying me. Kind of like everything else.
Whatevs.

M

Murphy's top five most hated ways of getting eve-teased

1. The lascivious, slow, wet, deliberate biting down on the lower lip while looking at Murphy's tits.
2. The kissing noise
3. The accidentally on purpose bumping into Murphy
4. Following Murphy around. Ugh.
5. Hostile eye contact followed by any of 1 through 4

Cheers!

How I hate the night

My exams are four days away. My indifference hasn't budged one bit. My days are vacuously empty, huge yawning pits of nothingness. I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that I have a terrible case of insomnia and a worse case of the consequent tireds. I've been spending my nights watching terrible movies, comforting myself with the thought that once I eventually get back to work this lifestyle of Jennifer Aniston, dreamy vampire boyfriends and foot-high fonts will automatically become something to yearn for. Nevertheless, I'm going to agree with Marvin's magnum opus 'How I hate the night.'

Now the world has gone to bed
Darkness won't engulf my head
I can see by infra-red
How I hate the night

Now I lay me down to sleep
Try to count electric sheep
Sweet dream wishes you can keep
How I hate the night


Lethargic kisses,
Murphy

My new friends are all going to have the nice, clean scent of an honest person. And their skin will be so soft you're going to want to touch it all day.

Murphy's is the city of regrets

I'm beginning a new year! I resolve to be a little easier, a little more open, a little looser around the edges, to lack definition. I'm going to ignore all the blood on the floor, I'm not going to burn in my skin, I'm going to continue losing touch.
I'm going to stop making history every time the wrong people come around.